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Ring Sting
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Ring of Fire, Curry in a Hurry, Fire in the Hole, Tabasco Turd
Are you really surprised that you feel as though you are shooting acid out of your butt? As you sit there praying for the session to end, think about the foods that you ate the night before. You will surely remember that spicy meal that was consumed.
The hotness you feel as the food goes in is what you will feel as it exits. Why? Because the mouth and anus are lined with the same type of cells that are able to discriminate among different types of stimuli. None more than spicy ingredients.
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Log Jam
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Colon Congestion, Stuck Up, False Alarm
When constipation gets this bad, it gets its own name. No matter how hard you push and how close you feel to passing this turd, nothing comes out. People may start to worry if you spend too much time in the bathroom so eventually you must give up. Dejected, you must live with your inability to perform.
Suffering from constipation? Make sure your diet contains ample amounts of fiber and water.
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Pebble Poo
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Rabbit Poo, Kibbles n Bits, Butt Hail, Buckshot
Probably the most disappointing feeling when pooing is going to the bathroom expecting a Poogasmic experience only to drop pellets out of your butt. Adding insult to injury, these pellets often splash as they hit the water, getting your cheeks wet.
Suffering from Pebble Poo? Try adding more fiber to your diet. When fiber is mixed with bacteria in the colon, the result is a glue-like gel that holds the poo together. Kind of like a rice krispy treat. Fiber also lubricates the colon, allowing poo to pass friction-free.
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The Snake
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Curly Fry, Fettuccine Feces
These thin and windy deposits can form many different shapes. Some may curl clockwise, others counter-clockwise. The creative mind may even be able to make out the spelling of a name or the shape of a bird.
Most commonly, these poos are the result of the tightening of the anal sphincter - the "door" that holds poo in the body and lets it out when needed. If you produce these over a month's time, it may be necessary to see a doctor as it may be the presence of rectal cancer narrowing the passageway of poo through the colonic cavity.
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The Green Goblin
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Seaweed stool
This foul-smelling explosion of blackish-green diarrhea is usually caused by antibiotics and thankfully very rare.
The use of antibiotics can cause an overgrowth of bacteria in the colon and cause an imbalance of good and bad bacteria in our intestines. This allows the growth of this harmful organism, called Clostridium difficile, which leads to abdominal pain, diarrhea, and fever.
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D.A.D.S. (Day After Drinking Stool)
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Morning After Poo, Poo of Shame, Bud Mud
People may have a ritual food like a greasy meal or a drink such as a bloody mary to get rid of the hangover that follows a hard night of partying. But to truly feel better, the body must get rid of all the toxins you consumed the night before. The unsettled stomach is usually followed by a smelly, semi-solid poo. This is your body's way of getting rid of those toxins.
The unsettled stomach and runs that a person experiences the day after drinking is the body's way of expediting toxins as quickly as possible. Because food is being rushed through, the colon does not have time to soak up liquid, causing watery poo.
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Soft Serve
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Jabba the Poo
This poo's consistency lies somewhere between diarrhea and and a nice, solid poo. It may feel like diarrhea coming out but upon inspection may resemble that of a soft serve cone of ice cream. It is sometimes the precursor to or the post movement of an intestinal infection.
These poo's happen from time to time and it is usually the cause of ingesting too many sugar substitutes, fructose (found in soft drinks), or simple lactose intolerance.
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